IM SO UNSURE!!

SOMETIMES WHEN I THINK AGAIN..IS IT SO WRONG TO LOVE SOMEONE SO DEEPLY?..N IS IS WRONG TO FALL IN LOVE?..Y CANT WE CONTROL OUR FEELINGS?..AFTER MY BROKE UP I TOTALLY HAVE NT MOVE ON..MAYNY PPL THOUGHT THAT I HAVE MOVED ON N LEADING A NORMAL HAPPIE LIFE BT THEY ONLY GT TO NOE ABT IT WHEN I TOLD THEM..N THEY WERE SHOCKED..ALL THIS WHILE I JUST FAKE MY SMILE TO LET PPL THINK THAT I AM HAPPIE..ITS NT EASY TO FORGET THOSE STUFF..ITS LIKE SO ATTACHED TO ME..IT AS BEEN WITH ME FOR YEARS N IT WILL HAVE TO TAKE TYME TO LEAVE ME..I WONT LET HISTORY REPEAT ITSELF..I MUST TELL MYSELF TO MOVE ON..

RECENTLY I THINK THAT I KINDA LIKE THIS GAL WHO HAPPENS TO BE MY CLOSE FWEN...I JUS DONNO HW N I DONNO WHAT TO SAY..IM SO CONFUSEDI FELT LIKE THAT COZ SHE SAYS SHE GONNA MOVED HSE..DEN SUDDENLY I FELT SMTH MISSING..I TALK N MSG WITH HER..ALL THIS WHILE I DONNO THAT WHEN I DSITURB HER N STUFF THE FEELINGS FOR HER JUS GROW..I NVR REALISE IT UNTIL THE DAY WHEN SHE IS GOING FAR...I DO TOLD HER ABT MY FEELINGS..N I THOUGHT SHE WOULD TELL ME ANYTHING..COZ I DONT REALLY CARE ABT HER ANS..I JUST WANNA TELL HER MY FEELINGS..IS IT WRONG???...AFTER TELLING HER SHE JUST KEPT QUIET..THE NEXT DAY NEVER PICK UP MY CALLS N REPLIED MA MSGS..IS IT FAIR?..IF I NOE THIS WERE TO HAPPEN I WOULD JUST BOTTLED UP MA FEELINS..ITS BETTER TO BE THAT WAY..DONT TELL ANIONE ANYTHING..

INSTEAD OF TELLIN ME SHE CONTACT MY OTHER CLOSE FWEN..I DIDNT TELL MANY PPL COZ I MYSELF IS UNSURE..SO I DONT WANT TO MAKE THIS THING BIG..DEN WHAT MY FWEN SAID WAS LIKE HE THINKS WE R HIDING STUFF FROM HIM..ITS NT LA..JUS NT THE RIGHT TYME..IF I KNEW HE ALREADY NEW ABT IT I WOULD AVE TALK TO HYM..Y ARE THINGS BEING SO LIKE THIS..N THE WORST THING IS NXT SAT WE ARE GOING TO SENTOSA N THAT GAL IS COMING TOO...I IDINT NO THAT I DID SO MANY BAD STUFF TO OTHERS THAT IM FACING THE RETRIBUTION NW..

AND ZAM PLS LA DONT SAY U SORIE LA FOR TELLIN ME OR NT TELLIN ME..ITS DOES NT EVEN MAKES ME ANGRY LA..IF U DIDNT TELL ME I WONT EVEN NOE WAD..U SHULD NOE MY ATTITUDE WAD..SO FAR I NEVER GET ANGRY WITH U B4 SO DONT BOTHER ABT IT LA..

YOUR QNS ARE ANSWERED HERE

Y I NO LONGER WRITE POEMS?

THE REASONS Y I NO LONGER WRITE ANY POEMS IS BCOZ OF WAD HAPPENED IN THE PAST..I WROTE LOTS OF POEMS TO THIS SPECIAL SOMEONE..I LET OUT MY FEELINGS HAPPIE SAD DISSAPOINMENT AND MANY2 MORE THROUGH WERDS.. ONE DAY WHEN I ASK BACK FOR THE POEMS TO KEEP AS ARCHIVES..WHAT I GOT BACK WAS MA POEMS IN SMALL LITTLE PIECES..IT WAS TORN AS IF NO ONE CARE OF THE EFFORT PUT IN IT..

TO MAKE ONE POEM IT WOULD TAKE ME ABT 2-3 DAYS WITH LONG HOURS JUST TO MAKE IT SOUND PERFECT..NO ONE NOES..PPL JUS LOOK AT IT AND SAYS IT SOUNDS NICE BUT DOESNT NOW HW MUCH EFFORT I PUT IN...WHEN I LOOK AT THE SMALL PIECES OF PAPERS..THATS THE DAY I STOPED WRITING ANY POEMS WTH MY HART..FOR ME ITS NT WORTH IT..

THANK GOD I STILL KEPT MY DRAFTS SO I ROUGHLY NOE WHAT I WROTE IN MA POEMS...THOSE POEMS THAT I WROTE IN HERE ARE THE OLD ONES..I WILL JUS TYPE IT BACK DOWN WHEN I HAVE THE TYME..BT SORRY LA..MOST OF IT ARE ALL LOVE POEMS..HEH..

Y AM I STILL SGL?

GD QNS..HAH..ACTUALLY I ALSO DONNO LA Y IM SGL..AFTER I BROKE UP I DO MEET UP WITH LOADS OF GALS BT MA HART JUS DONT FEEL THE LOVE..I MET UP WITH MANY2 DIFF GALS..SOME LIED TO ME ..... SOME JUS IM NT COMFORTABLE WITH WHEN IM WITH DEM..

THERE ARE TWO GALS I MET UP WITH..I KINDA LIKE THEM BUT AFTER A FEW MEETINGS GT TO NOE THAT THERE WERE ENGAGED..HW DO I NOE?..THEIR FIANCEE CALLED ME N TELL ME..GD THING THEY WERE NT RUDE SO AFTER I WAS TOLD I JUST LEAVE THE GALS..GALS ARE ALL THE SAME..THEY ALWAYS SAYS THAT GUYS HAVE NO FEELINGS BT NEVER REALLI LOOK AT THEMSELVES..SOME JUS WANTS MONEY..SOME JUS FOR SEX..I JUS DONNO WHAT TO SAY ANIMORE..JUS WHEN WILL MY PRINCESS COME..

WHAT KINDA GAL I WANT?..A GAL THAT I FEEL COMFOTABLE WITH..

Y I NEVER GIVE CHANCE TO OTHER GALS?

LIKE THAT DAY I WAS TALKING TO HAIDIR DEN HE ASKED Y I NEVER WANT TO GIVE CHANCE TO OTHER GALS WHO LIKES ME..ITS NT THAT I DUN WANNA GIVE THEM THE CHANCE..BT MOST OF THE TIME I DUN HAVE THE HEART TO BE WITH DEM..NO MATTER HW HARD I TRIED..THINGS JUS WOULD NT WANT TO CHANGE..SOMETIMES THE GAL I LIKE I CANT HAV DEM..N THE GAL HU LOVES ME I DUN FEEL COMFORTABLE WITH HER..SO I WILL JUS HAV TO WAIT LA...

THE POEMS

1ST POEM

EVERYTYME WE EMBRACE
I GO TO THAT SPECIAL PLACE
WHEN WE JUS WALK HAND IN HAND
IM IN NEVER NEVER LAND

WHENEVER I LOOKED THROUGH UR EYES
I BEGAN TO GET BUTTERFLIES
THEN MY HEART SKIPS A BEAT
AND OUR LIPS SLOWLY MEET

YOU ARE ALWAYS ON MY MIND
YOUR FACE IS ALL IT CAN FIND
I THINK ABT U EVERYDAY
ABD KNOW IT WILL WERK SOMEDAY

SOME SAY WE'RE DUMB AND FOOLISH
SOME SAY WE SHULD DO AS WE WISH
BUT ALL MY HEART COULD EVER DO
IS TO SAY I LOVE U.

2ND POEM

STANDING ON MY KNEES
LOOKING UP TO THE SKIES
AS THE MOONLIGHT CRAWLS DOWN MY BODY
TOGETHER FROM TEARS FROM MY EYES

YOU LEFT E WITHOUT A WORD
ALL I WANT IS THE TRUTH FROM U
EVER SINCE THAT DAY ONWERDS
MY REGRETS ARE FOR LOSING YOU

WHAT I DO MY LOVE IS STILL FO U
YOUR LOVE IS ALWAYS IN MY HEART
IM STILL HOLDING ON TO U
DREAMING ABT U RIGHT FROM THE START

EVERSINCE U LEFT ME IM LEFT WITH CRIES
THIS IS THE TRUTH NT ANY LIES
SADDNESS AND LONELINESS U CN C IN MY EYES
I JUS HID IT WITH LOTS OF SMILE

3RD POEM

YOU MOTIVATE ME WITH UR SMILE
YOUR VOICE CHASED AWAY MY FEARS
EVEN BY SITTING WITH ME FOR AWHILE
U ALREADY EASE THE BURDEN IN MY EYES

YOU HAV NEVER BEEN MY ENEMY
COME BAC SO WE CAN B TOGETHER
CAN SOMEONE BRING HER BACK TO ME
TO CONTINUE THE DWEAMS WE BUILT 2GETHER

NTH CAN ERASE U FROM ME
I DONNO Y I LOVE U DEEPLY
NISERY IS WAT U GAVE ME
U REALLY NEED U SO BADLY

UR LOVE ARE JUS LIKE ROOTS
THAT WRAPED AROUND MY HEART
I REALLY MISS U LOADS
COME AND FILL MY EMPTY HEART

MY FRIENDS

FRIENDS ARE ACTUALLY THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN MY LIFE..WITHOUT THEM I DONNO WHAT I WILL BE DOING..THERE WERE THERE EVERY TYME I NEED THEM REGARDLESS OF THE TYME LIKE ZAMURAI..HE IS ALWAYS THERE WHEN I NEED A WORD FROM HYM..AN ADVISER I CAN SAY.I CAN TELL HYM ALMOST ANYTHING I WANT N I NOE HE WILL UNDERSTAND..IT NT THAT I DONT WANNA TELL MA OTHER FWENS ITS JUST THAT MAYBE THEY WONT BE EITHER ABLE TO ACCECPT IT OR WONT UNDERSTAND.

I A VERY COMPLICATED PERSON..I LIKE TO KEEP THINGS TO MASELF N SOMETIMES HIDE THINGS FROM EVERYONE..LIKE DEE SAID THAT IM A CHANGED PERSON FROM THE LOOK OF MY SMILE..I NO LONGER SMILE LIKE LAST TYME..NW WHEN I SMILE THERE ARE SORROWS HIDDEN BEHIND THOSE SMILE..ITS HARD TO TELL OTHER COZ THEY DONNO HW I FEEL..I JUS SMILE COZ I WANT MA FWENS TO NOE IM HAPPIE SO THEY DONT HAVE TO WORRY..

LAST TYME I USED TO SMILE ALOT..IM A VERY HAPPIE PERSON I PROUD TOO..BT NW SINCE I LOST THE PERSON I LOST ALMOST EVERYTHING..EVERYTHING INCLUDING MY SELF-CONFIDENCE..MY CLOSE FWENS THEY STILL NOE I HAVE FEELINS FOR HER BT THERES NTH I OR THEY CAN DO..WELL I GUESS THIS IS KARMA N IM ON THE BAD SIDE NW..IM A BAD PERSON SO NW IM PAYING FOR THE BAD DEEDS I DID..

FOR MY OTHER FRIENDS IF I WERE TO TALK ABT THE GOOD THINGS THEY DID TO ME ITS BEYOND COMPARISM OF WAT I DID...NW WHEN I LOOK AT THEM I CAN SEE THEY ARE HAPPI..HAIDIR N TIPAH HAV BEEN TOGETHER FOR LIKE 4 YRS..LU AYY FINALLY AWAY FROM SUSI CLUTCHES..TEDDY DATIN A VERY SWIT GAL..ZAM N HIS GF..WAN WITH HIS LIFE OR MAYBE THE GAL IN HIS LIFE NW?..AHAH...FAI ALSO WITH HIS GF..SAME WITH AMAN FINALLY INTO HIS BUSINESS THINGY..DEE HAV A NEW GUY..IM HAPPIE TO SEE THEM HAPPIE..

My First Entry

HELLO PPL THIS IS MA FIRST ENTRY..,

nOTHING TO DO SO MAKE BLOG LOR..

TIME WILL MAKE THIS BLOG MORE INTRESTING...

PRINCE OF DARKNESS YOU MIGHT BE THINKING ABT WHAT IT ACTUALLY MEAN N HW IT ACTUALLY AFFECT ME..ITS ACTUALLT THE MEANING OF DMITRI MY NAME HAH..THE NAME THAT HAS STUCK ON ME FOR A FEW YEARS..

DMITRI IS A VAMPIRE NAME N SINCE I LIKE VAMPIRE VERY MUCH I CHOOSE TO BE INTO IT. LIKE READING MORE ABT THEM N HOW THEY EXISTED. ACTUALLY THE REAL PERSON WHO GAVE ME THE NAME WAS NON OTHER THAN MA CHILDHOOD FWEN ZAMURAI (NOT HIS REAL NAME)..WILL TALK ABT HIM N SOME OTHER FWENS IN THE UP COMMIN ENTRIES..

THATS ALL FOR THE FIRST ENTRY..